i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Your penis caused this!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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