Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize