Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
