I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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