Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
