shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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