I need help removing her.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
