I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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