We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
