I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
