You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
