My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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