I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize