I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
