You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
