he puts the penis in happiness.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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