it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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