Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
