I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
