when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
