i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my being single is dangerous.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
