Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
