I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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