I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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