Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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