i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
