So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Randomize
