is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
