Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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