sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
