Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
