I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize