Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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