i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
