bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
