Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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