This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
