I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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