Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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