I showed him my bush... on skype.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
