you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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