she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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