hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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