y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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