I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
