508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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