Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm too high and old for this...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
