Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
