I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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