somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
