I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
