that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
