You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
