I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
